Why My Glutes Hurt, or Why You Shouldn't See 'The Dark Knight' Twice in Two Days
In case you didn't guess it from the title of this entry, I saw the new Batman movie twice over the weekend, and my ass, neck and lower back hurt because of it.
It wasn't the seats that caused my pain, nor was it where I was seated, nor was it just me. Alexas had similar complaints after seeing the film with me Friday afternoon.
We were leaving what I thought was a thoroughly enjoyable film, yet her face was pinched up.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"My back hurts," she said. "I was tense through that entire thing."
"My ass hurts," I said.
"Why is that?"
"I think I know why..."
I went on to describe my theory, and mind you, it's just a theory.
It's no secret that for years the U.S. military has been developing weapons based on low-frequency vibrations. Low-frequency sounds—particularly frequencies below the range of human hearing—have been shown to instill fear and discomfort in people. My theory is that the sound people with THE DARK KNIGHT are hip to this information and applied it liberally throughout the movie.
To get an idea of the effect THE DARK KNIGHT has on your body, do this: While sitting at your computer (as I presume you are now), tighten up your buttocks and tense your shoulders like you're a turtle pulling its head into its shell. Now, hold that position for two and a half hours.
In my own case, seeing the film twice in two days has made my ass so hard, I can bounce quarters on it.
The film is great fun, by the way, and if you need to work your glutes, I highly recommend it.